Yellow Sky 1
|The sky looks yellow. It is the color that is seen by a person who has fallen down due to starvation. And then the person becomes blank. I received a bowl of corn gruel as a ration and came home. And I put water and dried cabbage greens in an iron pot and boiled them with salt. You keep eating it. You will hate to eat it more than to starve. If you walk around an alley after starving for a few days that way and the smell of rice cooking comes out of the next house, you must fall down. This is actually a story from 50 years ago, when I was 5 or 6 years old. When I saw neighbors who were having a meal with lettuce-wrapped rice through an opening in a fence, I became so hungry that the ground looked like it was moving. But I did not watch or beg, I just hid in an alley, and returned home only after all the village folks finished dinner and went to bed. When I was grown up later, I heard from my father that a phoenix does not land in a patch of weeds, however hungry it may be.|
So, now I think I practiced what my father said from my childhood. Even when our situation was a little improved, I kept eating boiled barley without a grain of rice with red pepper paste and I finally struggled to swallow it as it was much rougher than rice.
Poverty! It existed in us like oxygen and stuck to our skin like an innerwear. We lived with poverty like the air we breathed. My family didn't let poverty go even when I grew to be an adult.
Insan Kim Ilhoon! He is my father.
We lived under my father. We, to whom the sky looked yellow due to cold and hunger, did not know who my father was.
We just endured living.
Now, I am running toward the age 60. The endless hunger of my childhood made me think the sky was probably yellow. But I love my father, who let us live hungry, upon my life. I risked my life to honor my father's wish. It is not because of fear from that I now know who my father was. It is because Buddhist scriptures, the Bible, and great philosophy are all melted into the life of my father. That is why I risked my life for my father.
What father in the world can't hurt when he looks at his children starving? I know why my father couldn't help starving us even though he felt hurt when looking at us starving.
The person who came to the world to think of mankind.
The person who came to the world to think of people
So, the person lived his life undauntedly and uncompromisingly, waiting for the time when all people enjoy good things. And in such a life, the pain he felt looking at his children starving is also included. And, thanks to that, countless people can reap the benefits. Countless people nowadays share and enjoy the huge gems that my father wrote in his book, Shinyak (The God's Medicine) I know and understand the love of my father, who felt hurt looking at his children starving, to improve the quality of life of more people. I know now how much the fullness of the soul today is better than the fullness of meals in those days.
Fullness of soul.
I will live with the fullness for the next 10,000 years.